From the Bottom Up

pants 2

After reading the post Commentary – Safe, Sane, And Consensual Spanking over at Our Bottoms Burn it got me reflecting on my own spanking experiences and where the control lay.  The post talks about the bottom being the one in control of a spanking then discusses SSC.

I come from a switch point of view, for those who are unaware of the term it means that I both get spanked and spank others, so my experience includes both aspects of top and bottom.  I thought on the discussions that took place prior to the spanking play I have engaged in and where the power and control lies in the act.

Our play was for fun though I was asked to give an actual punishment spanking once.  I say asked here as we did not have a dynamic set whereby I could call  him to account for transgressions.  It wasn’t our thing and our circumstances didn’t allow for such.  Back to the punishment spanking, this was asked for by the bottom so he was still in control and whilst I was given the power to do this he could stop the progress at a moment’s notice.

From the perspective of the top, it always felt to me, like I was helping the bottom with something they needed not taking control from them.  The power exchange was an illusion only and helped dictate the role I would play, e.g. haughty school ma’am, annoyed partner, disciplinarian etc.  Sometimes there was no role play, it depended on the mood, but the simple truth is we enjoyed doing what we did and helped each other meet a need and had a lot of fun doing so.  We laughed a lot!

My take away is that our spanking play was a collaborative effort to get the best for each other and out of each other. This worked for me on a number of levels and also made me understand myself better so that going forward I know what I do and do not want in my spanking play or relationship.  My conclusion is whilst there was an illusory power exchange the bottom controlled what happened to them at all times and that is why the post so resonated with me.

The interesting part is I may still write about the types of spankings I would never want to participate in.  That is the beauty and power of writing fiction, to explore a world you may not want for yourself.  I get to visit places and situations with my characters that I would not submit to in real life and explore emotions that come from that.  I have at least one non-consensual story and a number with dubious consent on here, it was written to explore a specific genre and the protagonist began to find something in her experience that made it, for me anyway, palatable to continue.  I also have a number of stories with some type of power exchange or discipline and again whilst that may not be my thing I can explore the fantasy through my characters.


The Here and Now



I hope you enjoyed The New Partner.  It was originally on this blog many years ago but I re-wrote around half of it as I was never quite happy with where it was going.  Yes I could have done a lot more with it but then it would have ended up far longer and I wanted it to be on here as a short story.  Thank you to those who left likes, that means a lot to me, and feel free to comment or chat with me.  I’m really not so scary unless I have a paddle in my hand. 😉

I’m enjoying writing fiction again, I have done some over the years but nothing with the kink elements I so enjoy to write about.  Most recent writing has been essays for a degree I am currently working on part-time which does not always, read hardly ever, allow for much creativity .  This was a nice change and I’m finding a lot of ideas are now flowing again for other stories.

The big difference I am finding returning to writing is it’s much more difficult to write the very short flash fiction I was producing before.  So, it really will be a lucky dip as to what comes next but anything that gets too long will be broken into parts.

I thought I was no longer interested in writing these types of stories but I guess the old adage is true – you can take the girl out of the kink but not the kink out of the girl.

tl;dr – the creative juices are once again flowing.

Something completely unrelated – One thing that made me laugh today:

I can’t remember how I ended up on this site Online Booty Call.   Now I’m not in need of a booty call (well maybe just a little) and not that I am making any judgements, good luck to those of you in need of/into the booty call, however the Booty Call Commandments at the bottom of the site are what caught my eye and gave me a good laugh today.  The ones that made me laugh the most are in bold below.  I’ll post them here but go have a look as the pics attached to each also gave me a laugh, especially number ten.

  1. Thou shalt get out before the sun rises
  2. Thou shouldest never ask “can we see each other from now on?”
  3. Thou shalt never greet me in public – neither shouldest thou comment on my facebook page
  4. Thou shalt not request advanced plans
  5. Thou shalt kiss anything except my mouth
  6. Thou shalt scream my name often
  7. If someone comest over while thou art here, thou art my cousin from out of town
  8. Thou shalt not ask me to walk thee to thy car.  Don’t thou knoweth what it looketh like?
  9. There shall be no “pillow talk”
  10. Thou shalt refrain from referring to our activities as “love making