From the Bottom Up

pants 2

After reading the post Commentary – Safe, Sane, And Consensual Spanking over at Our Bottoms Burn it got me reflecting on my own spanking experiences and where the control lay.  The post talks about the bottom being the one in control of a spanking then discusses SSC.

I come from a switch point of view, for those who are unaware of the term it means that I both get spanked and spank others, so my experience includes both aspects of top and bottom.  I thought on the discussions that took place prior to the spanking play I have engaged in and where the power and control lies in the act.

Our play was for fun though I was asked to give an actual punishment spanking once.  I say asked here as we did not have a dynamic set whereby I could call  him to account for transgressions.  It wasn’t our thing and our circumstances didn’t allow for such.  Back to the punishment spanking, this was asked for by the bottom so he was still in control and whilst I was given the power to do this he could stop the progress at a moment’s notice.

From the perspective of the top, it always felt to me, like I was helping the bottom with something they needed not taking control from them.  The power exchange was an illusion only and helped dictate the role I would play, e.g. haughty school ma’am, annoyed partner, disciplinarian etc.  Sometimes there was no role play, it depended on the mood, but the simple truth is we enjoyed doing what we did and helped each other meet a need and had a lot of fun doing so.  We laughed a lot!

My take away is that our spanking play was a collaborative effort to get the best for each other and out of each other. This worked for me on a number of levels and also made me understand myself better so that going forward I know what I do and do not want in my spanking play or relationship.  My conclusion is whilst there was an illusory power exchange the bottom controlled what happened to them at all times and that is why the post so resonated with me.

The interesting part is I may still write about the types of spankings I would never want to participate in.  That is the beauty and power of writing fiction, to explore a world you may not want for yourself.  I get to visit places and situations with my characters that I would not submit to in real life and explore emotions that come from that.  I have at least one non-consensual story and a number with dubious consent on here, it was written to explore a specific genre and the protagonist began to find something in her experience that made it, for me anyway, palatable to continue.  I also have a number of stories with some type of power exchange or discipline and again whilst that may not be my thing I can explore the fantasy through my characters.


4 thoughts on “From the Bottom Up

  1. A LinkedIn recommendation Part 1

    Throughout the Autumn of 2009 I had the pleasure of working in Karen Wests quality assurance team at Bigco.
    We were a small team of 3 and Karen is a good leader of aboyt my age, with a fine sense of humour, a keen eye for detail and as I was to discover a no nonsense approach to assuring compliance.

    Karen lays out clear goals and guidelines asks if they can be met and then allows you to get on with your work, rather than micromanaging you.

    So this worked just fine and dandy.
    Over the course of this period there was a moment were my work became a little substandard and Karen had cause to talk with me about the matter. It did not seem to be something that Karen found challenging at all in fact my recollection is that Karen seemed to relish this managerial task.

    Some support was offered and the required disciplinary standards were outlined.

    Karen seems to really care for her close team and did not want to have to go to human resources on any matters and prefers to attend to things within the team rather than bringing in the faceless HR people.

    Over the course of a week I was late to work twice which caused raised eyebrows and I remember at the time whilst trying to get to work quickly I got caught speeding which cost me $183.
    Karen observed all of this very closely and entered into a period of correspondence which outlined that these breaches of disciplinary protocol are not acceptable and that she only had two recourses available.

    She said she could either engage with human resources or deal with the matter directly in a hands on way.
    When I asked what this meant she replied in her disingenuous way why dear, of course if I attend to internal disciplinary issues then, I administer punishment as required and as I see fit. So you have a choice, I either take this to HR for a formal process or I deal with it. And only you and I need to know about it. As she said this a rather indulgent looking smile played across her lips before taking on a pretty strict look.


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